Healing the invisible walls: How to release emotional blocks and reconnect
Have you ever felt like the energy between you and another person was off, but neither of you acknowledged it - acting like everything was fine? So many of us do this! Why? The short answer is fear. The long answer is we’ve been conditioned to suppress our feelings and to not rock the boat. The good news is the paradigm is shifting!
Why is this good news? Because the old way of dealing with our emotions isn’t good for us or our relationships. When we suppress our emotional energy, it gets stuck in our body - creating invisible walls blocking the flow of energy between you and the other person. This leads to the very opposite of what you want and erodes the connection. It’s also not good for your physical, energetic, and emotional health.
In this blog post, I will introduce to you a new way of relating to your emotions that will shift us out of the energy of fear and into the energy of love, the most potent healing force there is. The difference this shift can make in the quality of our relationship to ourselves and each other is astounding.
We’ll dive into:
- The nature of emotions
- The subtle yet profound impact of unexpressed emotions
- The body’s innate emotional intelligence
- A healthy emotional cycle
- A step-by-step guide to restore connection
When we acknowledge our truth, we unlock the freedom to move forward with ease and flow. Let’s go!
The Nature of Emotions
Emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). When we allow ourselves to fully feel our emotions - they arise, peak, and dissipate. However, if we resist feeling our emotions – the energy doesn’t disappear, it builds beneath the surface.
Think of emotions like weather and you as the open blue sky that experiences them. The weather that passes through is always changing and it’s out of our control. The spectrum of weather can be pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant yet in the bigger picture it creates balance in the whole system.
Think of your physical, energetic, and emotional systems as one big interconnected “ecosystem”. To have a healthy inner ecosystem requires us to develop the capacity to allow all kinds of weather to pass through. This becomes easier when we remember that our true nature is that of a radiant sun in an open blue sky and once any storm passes, we will return to this balance.
The Consequences of Suppressing Emotion
Suppressing your emotions is akin to holding back a storm – pressure builds and the emotional energy becomes “stuck” in your body, disrupting the natural flow of your nervous system, immune system, and your energetic pathways (chakras and meridians).
Think back to a time when you wanted to cry, but held back your tears. Did you feel a lump in your throat? That lump is emotional energy rising, ready to be released through tears yet being pushed down and creating a block.
Blocked energy you have in relation to someone can manifest as: tension, fatigue, repetitive emotions towards them, avoidance, overreacting or underreacting in their presence.
Now think back to a time when you felt the urge to cry and allowed it. Did you feel lighter afterwards? Refreshed after the weather passed through? That relief is your body returning to balance.
Flowing energy you have in relation to someone can manifest as: ease, vitality, spontaneous emotions towards them, connection, and appropriate responses in their presence.
The Body’s Innate Emotional Intelligence
The body has pathways to discharge emotional energy through and out of our system. Generally, anger releases through the limbs, sadness through the eyes, fear through the mouth, and love through the heart. This reflects the innate intelligence our bodies have that integrates and balances the physical, energetic, and emotional systems.
A Healthy Emotional Cycle
When we experience an emotion, energy moves through the body, initiating a response.
Emotion is Triggered: An event or thought stimulates an emotional reaction.
Energy Activation: Energy flows through the associated chakra, organ, or meridian.
Physical Expression: The body engages instinctual behaviors (crying, punching, hugging) to release or regulate energy.
Resolution: Once the energy is processed, the system returns to balance.
How Blocks Arise
When we are feeling that “off-vibe” with someone it’s usually because we didn’t allow ourselves to fully express an emotion that arose in relation to them. Usually this is because fear arises and blocks us – either because we are afraid of how we may appear, of pushing the person away, or of being vulnerable. This emotional charge gets trapped in your body and is triggered every time you are around or thinking about this person.
A Step-By-Step Guide to Restore Connection
Good news! With a simple process we can shift into the energy of love, clear our harbored emotions towards someone else, dissolve the block that was causing that “off-vibe” between you and restore connection. It is helpful to first process your emotions alone and then process them together.
Here is a step-by-step guide to process your emotions both internally and interpersonally:
How to Process Alone
1. Create a foundation of safety and presence:
Find a quiet, private space where you feel safe.
Take 3 deep breaths to calm your nervous system.
Set an intention to explore and honor your emotions without judgment.
2. Tune into the body (somatic awareness):
Close your eyes and do a body scan, noticing areas of tension, heaviness, or discomfort.
Ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now, and where am I feeling it?”
Use gentle touch or place your hand over areas that feel tight or heavy to signal safety to those parts of your body and establish a connection.
3. Label and acknowledge the emotion:
Name the emotion (e.g. anger, sadness, fear, frustration).
Validate it by saying, “it’s okay to feel this. This emotion has a message for me.”
If the emotion feels overwhelming, remind yourself: “This feeling is temporary. I am safe to feel it.”
4. Allow expression of the emotion:
Ask yourself, “how does this emotion naturally want to express itself?” and follow your body’s intelligence.
i. Vocalize it (e.g. scream into a pillow, cry, or say aloud how you feel).
ii. Move your body (dance, shake, stretch, or punch a soft object).
5. Investigate the narrative (mental processing):
Ask yourself: “What belief is tied to this emotion?” or “What unmet need is this emotion signaling?”
Then ask: “Is that true?” or “How can I offer that to myself?”
6. Nourish your energetic flow:
Write down empowering thoughts or affirmations that are true and support healing (e.g. “I am worthy of love and safety).
Use reframing questions: “What lesson can I take from this? How can I grow through this experience?”
Visualize light flowing through each chakra, releasing any heaviness or stagnation.
7. Integrate, ground, and close:
Sit quietly, focusing on your breath, envision a circle of protective light sealing your aura.
Offer gratitude for yourself for showing up and doing this inner-work.
How to Process Together
Sometimes it’s helpful to process alone first so you have a clear grasp on how you are feeling and have grounded yourself enough to have an intentional and thoughtful conversation.
1. Set the stage:
Choose a time and place where both of you feel safe and unpressured to talk. Start by expressing your intention: “I value our connection, and I’d love to share something that’s been on my mind to strengthen it.”
2. Share openly:
Use “I” statements to explain your feelings without assigning blame. For example, “I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected lately, and I want to understand why that might be happening.”
3. Listen actively:
Allow the other person to respond without interrupting. Listen with curiosity and an open heart. Try paraphrasing what they say to ensure you understand: “What I hear you saying is…”
4. Seek mutual understanding
Once both of you have shared, reflect on the root of the disconnection together. Ask open-ended questions like, “How do you feel about what I’ve shared?” or “What can we do to feel more connected?”
5. Collaborate on solutions
Brainstorm ways to move forward. Whether it’s setting boundaries, communicating more openly, or spending intentional time together, make sure it feels achievable for both of you.
6. Close with gratitude
End the conversation by thanking each other for being vulnerable and present. Acknowledge the progress made: “I feel so much lighter after talking this through. Thank you for listening.”
When we fully feel and express our emotions, we clear them from our system. What’s left is our natural state of open, flowing, radiant, loving energy. The body will always send us signals when we suppressing emotions that need to release. Remember, emotions are just weather passing through and once we feel and express them, they will dissolve back into the open blue sky restoring connection with ourselves and to each other.
